Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
