He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
