There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize