Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
