I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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