I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just forgot I was standing up.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
