everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
