jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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