So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i think i have two assholes
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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