Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
