Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
