That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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