If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You've changed since you got that strap on
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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