Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
