Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
