The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I wear drunk well.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize