There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize