But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
