Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
