babies were throwing up all over the place
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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