I wanna passion pit in your ass
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I could make wine with my vomit
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
