their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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