FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
