I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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