on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
