If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
