If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
