I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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