Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
