I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
