i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's never too late to be topless.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
