3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
