just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
