Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
