its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
