At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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