They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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