im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
