Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
