I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize