just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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