Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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