he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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