Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
