im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
