Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
