Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
