My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
