If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
