dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
