It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
