I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
