I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My liver is preforming stress tests.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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