I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
