You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
