just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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