yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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