ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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