thus making me awesome and them whores
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
