He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
