You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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