somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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