you lied. pity sex is amazing.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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