We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
