so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Randomize
