you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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