so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
