I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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