Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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