So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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