you guys were way drunker than both of me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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