She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
