she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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