Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
