bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
