I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
