Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize